Dad, this one's for you!

In July of 1980, my Dad welcomed me, his first and only daughter into the world. Having grown up with only brothers and havng already had two boys before me, I'm sure he was a little nervous at the thought of having to raise a girl. While he did let Mom take the lead on issues best suited for her, he was always first on the scene for the really important daddy/daughter stuff. He was a very good counselor and I always left our discussions with such clarity. He had such a way with words, that to this day, I can remember vividly almost every "sit down" we had.

One lesson he taught me is particularly poignant. I had been really upset at one of my brothers (a very common experience) to a near breaking point. Sensing my resentment of the situation, Dad stepped in to teach ME, not THEM a lesson! I was intially shocked that he didn't immediately take my side, but I heard him out to discover the "key" to a happy life. For nearly two hours, Dad taught me about taking responsibility for my emotions and my actions. He told me that nobody has any special power to make us feel a certain way; that we choose to let others control us. It was difficult to accept at first feeling certain that my brothers did indeed make me angry; but after our talk I finally realized that I was choosing to be angry. He made the same point about true happiness coming from within, probably as a preparation for dating (sneaky Dad).

Even now when I'm tempted to blame my feelings on others, especially my dear husband, I catch myself and repeat the exercise Dad taught me that night: I choose to feel ________ because_______. Dad, I hope you know that those moments you took me aside did not go unoticed. I know you like to say how well I did by marrying Jordan, but if the truth be told, Jordan is just a culmunation of everything you taught me through your counsel and most importantly, through your example.

Grandpa & Sam on the beach ( a favorite destination for both of them)